Originally from Mexico, Isabel and her husband settled in the London Borough of Lambeth to raise their three children, who are all now of secondary school age or older. Isabel and her co-parent often disagreed on how to parent their children . The stress of the regular disagreements and their ultimate separation left Isabel struggling with anxiety, low mood and fatigue, affecting her work as a teacher.
Isabel joined a single parents’ group seeking support and Stronger Relationships was recommended by another group remember; registering for the course, she hoped to better understand her differences with her ex-partner and improve communication between them, so that they could prioritise their children’s needs.
Isabel found the course gave her the space and tools she needed to reflect on her life and parenting values. The course enabled her to better explain her reasons for certain decisions which had become an issue between her and her co-parent. For example, she had repeatedly resisted her co-parent’s wish to buy a house. She could now better understand the effects of seeing the huge sacrifices her own parents had made to purchase a home and Isabel was able to appreciate and explain her passionate desire to avoid repeating what she saw as an unhealthy work/life balance.
Rather than face to face conversations (where tensions could escalate), she communicated with her co-parent through audio or text messages. She recorded a message to her co-parent acknowledging the positive aspects of their 20-year relationship and expressing her desire to improve their communication, giving an honest explanation for her feelings:
“This course encouraged me to deeply reflect on the values, principles, traditions, and personality traits I hope to pass on to my children—from both myself and my co-parent. It also strengthened my relationship with my co-parent, as our conversations became more focused on our children and how we want to raise them together. Conversations with our children are now more open and meaningful about cultural values and expectations.”
Despite all the challenges of separation, Isabel now feels more confident and optimistic about her future, with plans to continue learning and growing. She can now acknowledge her co-parent’s positive characteristics and has welcomed the positive co-parenting relationship they now enjoy. She feels her family is thriving and is interested in exploring how she might support other families with the knowledge that Stronger Relationships has given her.
Related Posts
Thinking about structure
Posted on
