Parents play a central role in their children’s development. In the UK, the number of stay-at-home dads has risen by a third since the pandemic, reflecting a growing trend of fathers taking on a more active role. Despite this positive gradual shift, many fathers still face a lack of support and guidance, particularly when it comes to co-parenting or navigating the emotional challenges from being separated from their children. For fathers like Ashley, these struggles can often feel isolating.
This blog follows Ashley’s personal journey as he joined the online SFSC: Stronger Relationships programme, and was later offered to join the in-person fathers programme. His journey highlights the critical need for accessible and inclusive support systems for fathers, particularly those facing challenges in their co-parenting journey.
The emotional toll of separation
Following a difficult relationship with his children’s mother, Ashley has been separated from his children for nearly two years. Ashley recalls the heavy emotional toll and isolation, unsure of where to seek support, saying “There was no outlet, so I kept my emotions inside.”
Ashley’s experience highlights a broader cultural issue in the UK, where the emotional and mental health challenges faced by fathers are often overlooked or minimised. In fact, 90% of dads feel that the difficulties of fatherhood are not taken seriously enough.
From isolation to connection: Finding support with SFSC: Stronger Relationships
Determined to rebuild his relationship with his six-year-old daughter and nine-year-old son, Ashley sought any support that could help him reconnect with his children. After a call from local authorities, who reassured him he was not a concern, he requested assistance and was given a link to join the SFSC: Stronger Relationships online parenting programme. Through this programme, Ashley met Antoinette, one of the SFSC facilitators on the SFSC: Stronger Relationships programmes, who played a significant role in guiding him through the process.
Reflecting on his experience, Ashley shared “I’ve worked with the public in the past, so I’m pretty much a people person, and the welcome I received was warming.” Throughout the course, he felt comfortable expressing his thoughts and emotions, explaining, “It was really nice to be able to give my thoughts and feelings directly”.
He appreciated how Antoinette encouraged everyone to contribute, adding, “It was very inclusive. You were given the opportunity to participate, and it was very much about understanding each person’s unique situation.” This supportive environment allowed Ashley and others to openly share their experiences and receive empathy and understanding.
But as the course was coming to a close, Ashley realised he didn’t want it to end.
The next step: Joining the in-person fathers group
After expressing his eagerness to continue, Antoinette connected Ashley to the in-person Stronger Relationships programme. While the Stronger Relationships programme is open to all parents, this in-person group was specifically aimed at Black, Asian and minoritised ethnic fathers and male carers, recognising the limited services available for fathers. This targeted approach helps ensure that more fathers have access to support, acknowledging the important role they play in their children’s lives.
Ashley praised the facilitators, Bernadette and Ian, for their ability to connect with the group, emphasising “not everyone has the skill and ability to do this, but they executed it really well. The bond and connection they created throughout the experience was amazing.”
Ashley recognised the importance of the facilitators’ approach, highlighting their empathy, listening skills, and emotional understanding. “They touched every aspect—emotion, empathy, consideration, and listening,” he explained. “All of those elements played a big role in me feeling that I was getting something from the course.”
The course also gave Ashley practical tools and a sense of progress. “It’s a very well-put-together course,” he said. “It’s easy learning, offering solutions and opportunities to progress and ultimately become a better person.” He felt the course provided him with the tools to move forward in life, both as a father and as an individual.
Reflections on Fatherhood
Ashley reflects on the unpredictability of parenthood, saying, “when it comes to parenting, people never truly understand the experience until they have a child.” He emphasised that the course plays a crucial role in continuing that journey of growth and understanding. “By attending this course, you’re continuing that development, which can prevent and save a lot of broken families.”
Looking back, Ashley admitted that had he known about the course earlier, particularly while still in a relationship with his children’s mother, “it could have been an arm for me to reach out and get help sooner”. Unfortunately, this experience is not uncommon, and highlights a bigger societal problem, where men face immense pressures and expectations, particularly around providing for their families.
“There’s a lot of pressure and expectations for men to meet a certain way of life and provide,” he explains. However, he stresses that if fathers had access to resources like the SFSC: Stronger Relationships parenting course, it could offer them the support they desperately need and better equip them to handle the emotional and practical challenges of fatherhood.
Supporting Fathers for Stronger Families
Ashley’s story showcases the profound impact that inclusive and culturally responsive parenting programmes can have on fathers, especially those from Black, Asian and minoritised ethnic groups. The need for such programmes is clear, and as Ashley’s journey demonstrates, these resources can provide fathers with the tools they need to not only improve their parenting but also help their well-being. By raising awareness and making these programmes more widely available, we can ensure that fathers have the support they need to thrive as individuals and build stronger families and communities.
Interested in learning more about the SFSC: Stronger Relationships programme?
Learn more here.
